Relief

I always find a moment of satisfaction within me whenever I walk across an old couple holding hands enjoying a laugh. It really testifies to years of commitment, understanding, tolerance, and yea....love. Not love-in-a-can that is so easily dished out in movies, rather, love that was built on years and years of trust and patience.
Thinking about divorce rates now, I sometimes wonder how people get together, get married, and STAY married.
There are enough complications as it is when it comes to 2 people getting together, the blind dates, the problem with accepting certain things about the other, the 'not my type' reason, the lack of commitment.
Then after that, before they wed, there's the cold feet, the second thoughts, the temptation of finding someone better, the problems with future in-laws, the forbiding from the parents side, or the lack of approval from friends.
Then AFTER that, there's the temptation of adultery, the sudden change after marriage behaviour, the mid-life crisis, financial issues, the sudden lack of energy to work on the marriage, the easier road of just throwing everything away by signing a few papers.
The odds are really agaisnt a couple. Yea, thats why, when I see an old couple strolling down a pathway, or in a supermarket, or in a park, hand in hand, I realise that they are a walking miracle.

Replies

>Some people shun advice like a disease<
It's called pride. We've all got it to some degree. We don't like to be told we're wrong, even though intentions may be good.
Note 1: Disclaimer in place-"I'm being cynical and
having my moment of 'self therapy' by wording my thoughts in the form of advice."

Note 2: Definition of 'advice' from Dictionary.com.
ad·vice
n.Opinion about what could or should be done about a situation or problem; counsel.
Opinion does not equal command / order. Too many times people think they're being 'told what to do' when an advice is just simply an opinion. A true friend respects another friend's opinion. Problem with an opinion/advice? Bring it up for discussion. Don't get into a fit and think "OH, who are YOU to tell ME what to do?!"

>Once people have seen your negative, that's what they'll most probably perceive you as the rest of your waking time.<
That's subjective, don't generalise.
Note1: The words 'most probably' were used. If I wanted to generalise it, I would have said , " Once people have seen your negative,thats what they'll ALWAYS perceive you as the rest of your waking time" There's a difference there.

>Pretend pretend pretend. So many times I see and observe how people truly are, stripes and all. Only to see it all dissappear in a split moment when somebody else is present, quickly shoving their dirt and grime under a rug. Are they two-faced? Who cares,pretenders are the most popular. Reveal what they are, and you only have yourself to suffer for your attempt.<
It's a defense machanism. We all want to be loved, it's only human. So naturally one wouldn't be parading their bad side, but rather seek to conceal it so that others are not driven away.
Note 1: My comment didnt mean to encourage people to parade their bad side. Rather making the change in behaviour so apparent when someone else they want to impress is present is a tad sad. It isn't anyone's fault, unless the person makes it known that they are hard to impress and to be their friend, you gotta have what it takes. Well..to these kind of people, I say to you "Take a look at yourself. I don't have to waste my time trying to impress you" So what if I'm happy and confident enough to show my good AND bad side. In any case, I only show both sides to those I trust or have faith enough to know that this is me, Kevin. I have nothing to hide. I have been naive though, and my judgement as to whom I reveal myself to has been poor.

Some Advice

Ah..advice..who wants advice from me? Some people shun advice like a disease distanting those who dispense it no matter what the intentions are behind it. Some people pretend to take it to be polite only to throw it out the moment the oppurtunity arises. Im not doing it now for anyone's good, I'm being cynical and
having my moment of 'self therapy' by wording my thoughts in the form of advice.
Having said that, here's my 2 cents.
Don't show people your bad side. I once thought showing people your whole self, good and bad was the most sincere thing you could do. The response concludes otherwise. Once people have seen your negative, that's what they'll most probably perceive you as the rest of your waking time. I have some sense of what released prisoners feel now.

Pretend pretend pretend. So many times I see and observe how people truly are, stripes and all. Only to see it all dissappear in a split moment when somebody else is present, quickly shoving their dirt and grime under a rug. Are they two-faced? Who cares,pretenders are the most popular. Reveal what they are, and you only have yourself to suffer for your attempt.

Don't give people the benefit of the doubt. Don't think anything of anybody at all. Thats the simplest. By doing so, you eliminate dissapointment with their shortcomings.

Don't speak too much. Word spreads faster than a wildfire. Much much faster, and with each medium it goes through, the meaning almost always changes. Thats when you not only land in the fire after the frying pan, you land in the burner from which the fire draws is flames.

Why Do I Blog?

Why do I blog? A simple answer...self therapy...lol...thing is..I can miss out on THE most important things people have to say to me..but at other times..I can just remember ONE phrase from ONE person for THE longest time. So I friend of mine tells me that the best way to help yourself when you're in a rut is to jot down your feelings on a piece of paper to which my reply was a smirk in my mind. (YEa...i smirk in my mind cos ppl just give you a look when you smirk at things you're not spose to smirk at) In any case, this being a public blog limits what I can put down and what I cant put down for the sake of other people. But for what I do put down, I do feel a sense of relief.
Unlike other blogs I notice, I don't actually expect people to read this, react to it, and post comments, or respond to it. Sure I can complain here, and whine (and I believe I've done it) but it's all for my well being. If you, a random reader, or even an acquantaince, or a friend were to read my blog, there is no expectation whatsoever for you to follow up on what I put down in real life. I do notice I've put up a certain 'wall' around myself. That wall of course is on automatice I spose. I don't have a wall up for every person I know.
That being said, I think I'll do a write up on where I worked e.g. Motuihe Island since it's been a new experience for me...going to work on an island I didnt know existed 15 mins by ferry from my area!! My boss over there reminds me of me when I'm in a hurry to do work. I walk from one place to another to do something, while Im on the way, I notice something else which needs to be done, my mind flips over to the new job, and I forget about the first thing I was meant to do. This process is frustating as it also causes me to misplace things and reduces my efficiency even more...tsk....mayb men can never multitask. ...ok..a bit sidetracked...but..yea..what did I do there? I helped out with catering for 3 functions in 2 days. Helped prepare food for some hungrily drunk fishermen, drunk people in a wedding and some sober sailors. YEa....ppl over here love getting drunk during summer. (PS: I brought back some free beer....weeeeeee)
Yea,first time I helped out in a kitchen for 2 days straight. The pay was good considering what I did..lol..this includes hanging the laundry (YES!!), cutting beans, putting serviettes on paper plates, picking rubbish...and imagine...getting complimented like mad for being such a hard worker...really makes your head swell. But I thoroughly enjoyed myself..believe it or not..it was the first time I went on a ferry in NZ. MM...that's enough blogging..wonder what's the word count.

I can be googled!

Check it out! Seach for 'kevinloh' in google...and there you go! Im on the 7th or 8th search result! Weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee..........

The other kevinlohs are such wannabes...

"Forgiveness is For Giving", Rosalind Moss

First, who is Rosalind Moss?
Rosalind Moss, who was born a Jew, is a convert from Evangelicalism. Rosalind travels and speaks extensively as a staff apologist for Catholic Answers. She writes from La Mesa, CaliforniaS

So I typed in the key word 'forgiving' in this catholic site...and Im 'quoting' this certain part of the page. Engineering training tells me that if I use these " " quotation marks...Im free of copyright infringement. Huahahahaha.

"Forgiveness is for giving. If you sin against me, in order to forgive you, I need to absorb the hurt, of whatever kind, that has been committed against me, and release you from the guilt of your actions. What does that do? It sets you free. It also sets me free from the constant pain of bitterness, of wanting revenge, of unhappiness that I inflict upon myself because of your sin.
Forgiveness frees all that. It doesn’t get rid of the pain, or the loss, or the devastation I might need to live with, even daily, for the rest of my life. It doesn’t change the fact that my life may have been forever altered—as was Christ’s life altered, forever, by our sins—but it frees me from hate, from helplessness, from bitterness, from despair.

But what do you do with the pain? The scars? Your forever-altered life?

I give them to God, who knows all things and who is able to heal, in his way (the way of our salvation) and in his time, and to work all things together for good. And I—now, as a Catholic—have the inexpressible gift of offering to God and joining with his sacrifice the sufferings that once would have destroyed me.

It’s too hard.

Yes, I know—too hard alone. But possible in Christ. All things are possible with God, are they not?

Yes, but to be willing to forgive those who you would rather see destroyed . . .?

It’s the only road to freedom—your freedom."

I like the way she writes. Simple, yet effective with the self posed questions answered.

Movie Mania = Professional Slacker

I typically enjoyed my first week in NZ after I returned. Trying to get over the Malaysian food, atmosphere, and of course, cherished friends and family members, I indulged myself in a movie marathon which consisted of the LOTR extended version(12 HOURS!!!!), the DVDs my brother brought back, which included Godsend, Christmas with the Kranks, Series of Unfortunate Events,Skycaptain and the World of Tomorrow,Shaun of the Dead; also I managed to watch Dumb and Dumberer, caught up with the Naruto episodes.Later, caught Finding Neverland with a friend.Oh yeah, I caught 2 inflight movies, Taxi and Wimbledon. All this reminds me as to how many movies I watched in the 2 month period I was in Malaysia. Lemme see if I can remember the list in random order.
Kungfu Hustle, Shaolin Soccer, Pokemon the Movie 2004, Ocean's 12, Bride and Prejudice, Shutter,The Saw, The Grudge, The Incredibles, Ladder 49, Anchorman, Gothika. I ALSO realised the amount of movies I'd seen after following my friends to Video Ezy in Malaysia when they wanted to rent a movie, and I made things extremely hard since I'd seen almost half the movies they kept in stock. (The other half were malay movies).

Anyone up for some quick movie reviews?

Bride and Prejudice > Watch it.
Ladder 49 > Watch it if its free or if you've got too much time on your hands.
The Saw > Watch it if you're a sadist and need a sick movie to inspire you.
Kungfu Hustle > Watch it
Shaolin Soccer > Watch it
The Grudge > Watch it if you're not alone and not sleeping in an empty house.
Shutter > Ditto
Gothika > Well...sorta ditto, with Halle Berry in it, getting scared is worth it.
Skycaptain and longish name for a movie > Watch it if you absolutely have utterly too much time on your hands and really can't think of anything else to do
Pokemon? > Yea....Watch it if your little brother makes you feel bad about not spending enough time with him.

What'll I miss?

What'll I miss about Malaysia? I should rephrase that....who'll I miss in Malaysia? Everyone...honest. I don't think I'll be mentioning names here....but I'll miss the mamak nights, the carolling, the dressing up as santa, the lame jokes I heard AND made, the trip to Sunway Resort, the chase of the Road Runners and Cruisers, ....everything...it's a whole package..which makes it so much harder to give up.

Something about the old friends I met up, I was so scared I wouldnt be able to have anything to share with them. But nothing of that sort happened. I realised I missed out on a LOT of gossip :) Hopefully that'll keep me updated for another 2 years? Yeah...right....

In any case, I'm all settled down here, havent gotten used to the time difference yet...but Im taking my time. Got other things to worry about.

Have a great Chinese New Year Guys!