So there

I did it, I said what I'd been thinking about someone almost 7 months ago today, by txt.
I guess, everyone has a breaking point. I thought, if I subdued it, surpressed it, squashed it down, and let bury it, the 'dirt' would rot it all away. I was wrong, it only continued to simmer, and today it boiled so fast, it overflowed. Why, though, I ask myself. Usually, I keep my mouth shut, forget the nasties, and let it go. I guess this time it was different. I guess this time, I couldnt bear seeing my instincts about someone proven right through observation.
Maybe it wouldnt have been so bad if I said it at that moment in time 7 months ago. But, I guess, at that moment, there was more sorrow, dissapointment and betrayal than anger. I guess this is what happens.....when you suppress it all...I dunno..usually I regret saying what I said when Im in the heat of the moment, later telling myself to make the first move to apologise...but I dunno why...this time, a sense of relief came over me....I feel so calm now...so...at ease...as if a thick nail stabbed in my heart was yanked out..