And so it ends

Yes, the exams are finally over......how did i celebrate it? I think im typing this blog now at the edge of soberiety.....hehe....na..Im not drunk.....Why......why do I always think about death? About what I'll see / experience once I die? Do souls fall in love in heaven? Or is it cos its heaven that souls no longer FALL in love.......I mean..if you FALL in love, its something you couldnt really control...cos nobody really falls halfway...and then go "Hey, this is gonna HURT once I hit that floor" YEa...I HOPE there's gonna be love in heaven, I mean, God is love, but does that mean, once you're in heaven, the only being you'll be fixated upon is God? I know, God is SO overwhelming, you might not really wanna focus on any other existing beings...but but...........there are some people out there who REALLY catch your attention, people who are so attractive, inwards and outwards, people, whom despite their faults, you just wanna take a eye patch and cover it over your eyes, and disregard what they do wrong......but but, why......why does it seem to the outsider that 2 people shouldnt be together? Ah......I dunno......my head's spinning, I think...once you begin to accept the fact, that you MIGHT be alone, you tend not to worry so much.....there are so many things in life you have no control over, and I always tried to put my hand on it...ALWAYS,...I think it was my personal philosophy you know...I always said to myself, 'Once you've tried your best..then...you have...you've done what you could, don't blame yourself anymore"...I guess, as I grow older in age,I start to think that my best is never enough..never....but ....yea...I've come to it now, your best MUST be the best, as long as at that moment in time, you truly honestly said to yourself, "This is it, I've done what I could think of, I followed my conscience, this is what I'll do. Because only I will do it." Yea....Im happy to say I havent lowered my standards....all I need is this reminder...that I've done my best, including praying for the Almighty's blessing....Im only human, I know my limits...and as long as I know Im pushing my limits, as long as I know that, I know at that point, that was my 'best'...my all....